"Who do you say that I am?"

I inherited four really big pictures of Jesus--they are the 4 gospels of Jesus and the image of Jesus is created by the words of the gospels.  Word pointillism if you will.

These pictures have been moving through the house as I still try and figure out where to put things after our move.  One picture in particular I like and it says

"Who do you say that I am?"

I look at it as one of those conversation starters--Jesus asking me, really asking me--who do I say that he is and how do I express that.  Will my actions reflect that I had this conversation at all?

The other way that I read this is "who do I say that I am--now?"  Lately, I have been referring to myself in the past tense.  I used to play basketball, I used to run 1/2 marathons, I used to quilt, I used to have 3 dogs, I used to have my own business, and the list goes on and on.  If feels somewhat strange to look at my life as it was and even try to compare to where I am now.

I look at my life now and minimize the fact that I do breakfast, lunch and dinner, laundry--sorted, folded and put away (at least once a week), my house is clean for about 1 hour a week, and I spend the rest of the time with my kids.  That is a lot of stuff to keep up with and in my happy heart I know that it is enough. 

Then I see the skinny mom at the gym, the business mom making the deal, insert any mom doing anything that is NOT what I am doing--and then I hear those words "who do you say that I am?" and I wonder about so many things:  do they wish they were home?, wish they could run a 1/2 marathon, make awesome whoopie pies, do they spend as much time as I do thinking about what they were and where they are going? 

During this Lent I have been striving to live more intentionally.  I want to stop thinking about what I was and what I hope to be (by swimsuit season) and live in the NOW.  Enjoy the moment as it is not what it will be or should be or could have been. 

I find it difficult to have such a busy schedule and still live with intention.  It is all a work in progress with starting being the hardest step.

Thank you God for this season of Lent, a season to pause, a season to take a long hard look at what dying on the cross means for us individually.  Help me understand that where I have been, what I thought I was, or hoped to become has brought me to this moment.  Help me to live each day to the fullest and not define myself by what was, but what is yet to become.

Stay Home Sundays

I love my home. I love making my home a place to just be. Our house is busy--the 6 of us all have things that interest us and take us away from our home but on Sunday we all come together and become "homebodies". We limit our activities to church and school on Sunday. Ideally, we go to Mass on Saturday night so we have all day on Sunday to:

• stay in our pajamas
• read an entire book
• have pancakes and bacon without rushing
• spend time alone with each kid
• bake bread
• take a shower without looking at my watch to see how far behind I am
• pray and entire rosary
• make lots of cookies and freeze the dough
• make a huge train track and turn it into a city
• plan our week
• fold laundry (see my previous post on our laundry system)
• listen to the kids have a concert
• go for a long walk
• breathe
• think without being rushed

I try to prepare our meals for Sunday on Saturday so I need to spend less time in the kitchen. Our Sunday kitchen time is spent working together at a slower pace and enjoying our time rather than the Monday through Friday flurry of meals in under 15 minutes.   

When my kids were younger it was much easier to have stay home days--a time to catch our breath and rejuvenate ourselves. That time of having leisure toddler time has passed and our family needs to be mindful of how important it is becoming to spend time together in a very intentional way. As  our lives become busier I feel it is hugely important to balance it with calm.

Thank you God for taking a day of rest. You have shown us that what we accomplish in 6 days through your blessings and grace will not crumble while we rest on the 7th day.

Leviticus 23:3 You have six days in which to do your work, but remember that the seventh day, the Sabbath, is a day of rest. On that day do not work, but gather for worship. The Sabbath belongs to the Lord, no matter where you live.